Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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