Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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