I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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