Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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