we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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