Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
