wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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