let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
