my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
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