god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize