she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize