im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you will always have a special place in my vag
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So squirting runs in the family.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
