Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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