Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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