This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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