I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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