3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
