Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
