He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
