Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
