god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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