My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
