Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
