My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
