We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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