i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize