If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
