we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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