The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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