Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
