yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
