Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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