Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
