apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize