Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
