rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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