So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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