i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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