I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
