Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
