I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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