He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize