I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It's Friday. Sex?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
