the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
