thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
