So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
