Whod you bang
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
