time to smoke my breakfast
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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