do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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