yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize