I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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