Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize