Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
