i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
