I bet he comes in French.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she pinky promised me she was 18
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the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
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I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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